terynvictoria.

honest

terynvictoria — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:00:18 +0000

I am so unhappy.

And I convince myself that it’s because of you.

I foolishly believe I would suddenly be happy if I found out you loved me back.

song

terynvictoria — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 01:19:18 +0000

sing Your love song over me, sing it so loud that i can’t help but see

cliche

terynvictoria — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 01:03:57 +0000

Here’s the opening little chunk of a new song I’m working on, starts up-beat and end slow and introspective.

You Are – Teryn Victoria

Well you’re the brown sugar in my apple pie and

You’re the granny smith in my eye

You’re a popsicle on the fourth of July

Oh you’re a diamond you’re this girls best friend and

There’s always something comin’ ’round the bend

Hope you’re a classic not just another trend

You are, you are, you are, you are

You are, you are every cliche

You are, you are, you are, you are

You are and I wouldn’t have it any other way

Well you picked me up from my front door

And boy you swept my feet right off the floor

Even brought me a carnation from the grocery store

africa

terynvictoria — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:23:01 +0000

For the past few years the vast majority of the time I’ve spend daydreaming has been focused on one thing, Africa. Which is sort of silly because I’ve never been to Africa. The more I think about it, the more I think that is where God put my heart. I am going to Malawi next summer and feel that is where God wants me. He wants me in a place of humility, serving people I have nothing in common with besides a common Creator, to be pushed so far out of my comfort zone that I don’t have one, to have my heart shattered for something bigger than me, to deepend my reliance and my love for Him.

My prayer for the past year has been “God, break my heart for what breaks Yours”, and He has. I have spent nights weeping over Africa, feeling utterly heart-broken and sick to my stomach as I think about situations happening in numerous African countries, and nights weeping over how ashamed I am that I am still not satisfied with all that I have and coming before God seeking forgiveness for my pride and discontent. I long for my heart to be seamlessly aligned with God’s, for His will to be mine.

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” -Mark 16:15

The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. -Psalm 24:1

songwriting is cheaper than therapy

terynvictoria — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 06:06:20 +0000

I’ve been writing songs like mad the past little bit, which has been slowed down slightly by my current cold and resulting nasally voice, but lately it’s just been what I’ve wanted to do. It’s proven interesting being so introspective and trying to find things to write about. Today I wrote a song called “Her Never Me” (although, the title could change) when I was thinking about how all the boys I’ve liked in the past and all the ones who have liked me have always had me in second place behind another girl, never bothering to fall out of love with their past loves before falling into me. It’s actually turning into a really beautiful song, although still in rough (ROUGH) draft right now, and the chord progression is quite lovely. I am thinking of recording some of it into EP form, even typing that phrase freaks me out. Could this even be a possible route for me to take? Maybe just a detour? I have no idea. But for now, this is really turning out to be cheaper than therapy.

miss california

terynvictoria — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:11:41 +0000

So, I don’t think anyone actually reads my blog, which I don’t mind but here is the short version of my current rant.

I’ve been thinking about the whole Miss California debate (explosion, craziness, scandal or whatever you want to call it) when she answered a question posed by Perez Hilton about whether or not she believed gay marriage should be legalized. Her answer? She boldly stated that she believed marriage was between a man and a woman. Since, she’s been hit with comments about how she is a homophobe and is intolerant, which I really just find kind of funny. First of all, I hate the term homophobe, I am not afraid of homosexual people (which the “phobe” intends), I just don’t agree with their lifestyle. And secondly, unfortunately, we live in a society that is, for the majority, humanist. Everywhere we look we are bombarded with the idea (and supporting propaganda) that “I’ll do what’s right for me, and you can do what’s right for you.”, so why are the people who preach this message so loudly not willing to extend it? Shouldn’t that humanist view also apply to the way people treat Christians? No, I don’t believe in gay marriage. I am with Miss California on this one, marriage should be between a man and a woman. But, who are you to tear me down for my beliefs and in the same breath tell me not to tear your down for yours? It seems a little hypocritical to me.

And so, I say “Well done Miss Prejean for standing up for your beliefs in a society that is so quick to knock them down.”

with all i am

terynvictoria — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:20:58 +0000

I’m trying to get back into my photography and was up editing some shots for a large portion of last night and wanted to share one of the things I was working on. I really love layering text with photos and the lyrics on this photo perfectly describes where I am at with God right now, wanting to walk with Him and put everything I am in His care. They are from the song With All I Am by Hillsong (click to listen).

huh.

terynvictoria — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:47:17 +0000

step one.

terynvictoria — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:30:30 +0000

So, for a long time I held off doing anything with my life because I was waiting for God to suspend a huge neon sign from the sky telling me where to go and what to do. Well, lately, I’ve been learning that God can use us wherever we are, and lots of the time, He is just waiting for us to take a step. A step of faith (more often than not, this is actually a huge leap). He just wants us to move, if our hearts are focused on Him it doesn’t really matter where we go. Anyways, all that to say that a few weeks ago I finally took a step and applied to work out at a summer camp this summer and I just had my interview today. I feel good knowing that I finally did something in some sort of direction. God is good, and He will use me as long as I remain focused on Him.

What step are you waiting to take? Why are you waiting?

just can’t wait

terynvictoria — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:38:45 +0000

Ever since I was a little girl, probably 5 or 6, I just couldn’t wait to grow up. Sure, I enjoyed my time as a child, what’s not to enjoy? No responsibilities, few stresses, just time spent being silly and playing Barbie’s and coming into my own, but I always longed for the day when I would be wife and mother. Now, as I near my 20th birthday, I still can’t wait. I can’t wait for the day when I’ll have my own house to decorate for Christmas, a fireplace to snuggle in front of with my future husband, a kitchen to cook in (and yes, clean) and a craft room full of colour and inspiration. But I find that sometimes, my “can’t wait” becomes a “what if I never…”, I’m trying to learn that it’s all in God’s hands, that He has beautifully and painstakingly crafted my future. As I was reading “Multiple Blessings” by Kate Gosselin, I was struck by one of the verses at the beginning of a chapter; “Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself” (Psalm 84:3a) and realized, God really does have this, if He cares enough to make sure that a tiny bird has a place to nest, that He definitely cares enough for me and my dreamings and hopes. That said, it’s still hard to give it over to Him every day, but I am learning and am trying to make my “I can’t wait” be an ”I can’t wait for Heaven, where I’ll see Jesus face to face”